


Underneath the Mistletoe

by Markov_Debris



Series: Christmas Gifts [3]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 12:40:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13123926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Markov_Debris/pseuds/Markov_Debris
Summary: Jack puts up some mistletoe wanting to be kissed by every member of Torchwood.  Things do not go according to plan.





	Underneath the Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story especially for this Christmas. I hope that you all have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy the story.

It was all Gwen Cooper’s fault he decided.  She was a woman who knew how to drive men crazy with jealousy; or was that just crazy?  It didn’t matter.  It had been her idea so it was her fault.

The Rift was not a respecter of holidays and celebrations, and this year it was going to be a bastard. Tosh’s readings suggested that they might be facing the end of the world, again.

With Rhys knowing about Torchwood, he was very understanding about his wife not being able to come to his mother’s at Christmas because she was needed to save the world, not very happy but understanding.  However he commented in passing that it was a shame they couldn’t enjoy the Christmas atmosphere.  He then suggested a New Year’s party at his house instead.

The notion of enjoying a Christmas atmosphere took root in Gwen’s mind and Jack and Owen returned from a retrieval a few days ago to find Gwen and Ianto putting up a Christmas tree, real not artificial.  It was beneath a canopy of mesh so that Myfanwy couldn’t get at it.

The decorations came from the archives, Jack knew because he had been the one to put them there.  Amongst the standard glass baubles, LED lights (which were a new addition) and tinsel, were a very Torchwoody set of handmade decorations that looked like various aliens in Father Christmas outfits (made by a former Torchwood employee).  There was something mildly sinister about Weevils and Blowfish in Santa suits, the latter having green outfits instead of red.

Jack and Owen joined Toshiko who was at her computer trying to ignore her Welsh colleagues.  She kept eyeing the tree as if expecting it to come alive, which, according to a friend of his, had happened before.

Before the Captain, or the Medic, could ask what the hell was going on, the Technical Genius suddenly looked more alert and made shushing motions in their direction.

“Well Torchwood One traditionally always had two office parties for Christmas,” Ianto was saying and Jack realised what Gwen had just asked.

“The idea was to give all of the employees a chance to celebrate with their co-workers.  So if you were on duty for one party you had to attend the other, and if you were on duty over Christmas you were supposed to attend both.

“However since the mid 80’s the first party had been held in the summer and all those who do not celebrate Christmas only have to attend that party,” Ianto explained.

“That’s very forward thinking.  I didn’t think Torchwood One was that forward thinking,” Gwen stated.

She received a raised eyebrow and blushed guiltily, telling Ianto that that piece of information had come from Jack, and therefore had to be treated with a pinch of salt, his dislike making him prejudice.

“It was actually an act of mercy.  They were investigating a cult that they thought had alien origins and were using some potentially dangerous technology.  They sent in four field agents and two scientists to deal with the situation.

“The religion itself was harmless and the race who started it were long dead.  However, one of the pieces of technology was a converter,” Ianto explained.

“What kind of converter?” Gwen asked.

“A religious converter.  The cultist weren’t worshiping through choice and there was no way to reverse the effects.  Which was unfortunate because the team and scientists they sent in were converted too. 

“The effected team were put on medical leave whilst they tried to reverse the effects but they were invited to attend the parties.  The most junior member of the field team almost committed suicide because he thought attendance was compulsory, even though he was on leave, and his new god would rather his followers die than attend such a blasphemous gathering,” Ianto explained.

“God that’s terrible,” Gwen said.

“Yes it is.  In all other respects the cultists were very tolerant of other religions.  If the converter didn’t work on someone they were just not chosen and were allowed to continue their lives without penalty in this world.  Torchwood decided to fully explore the effects of this religion and kept their effected employees on.  They made one of the Christmas parties a Summer office party with no religious connotations so that they, and those who did not celebrate Christmas could have a party with everyone else,” Ianto finished.

“But what about Christmas decorations in the office?” Gwen asked.

“Torchwood London was spread across several offices then and those who had been affected by the converter were all in one place.  I understand that their colleagues were okay with not having any decorations, several of them were Christmas humbugs,” Ianto told her.

“Did you have fun at your Christmas parties?”

“Oh yeah,” Ianto replied with a shy, wistful, smile on his face.

Jack knew that he was thinking of a Christmas party where he beat Lisa in a competition selling kisses for charity.  He was glad that Ianto chose not to share that piece of information, it had been something shared when their relationship was in its infancy, when the Welshman was still grieving for the woman he loved.

“There, done.  What do you think?” Gwen asked him.

“Beautiful,” Jack replied, his eyes still on Ianto and the shy smile on his face.

It was only when Owen groaned that he realised that he had accidently agreed to the Christmas tree staying in the Hub. 

Any thoughts Jack may have had about taking the tree down were halted by finding a few plastic pterodactyl toys on string that had been decorated in glitter, hanging from its branches.  Whilst he was sure Gwen was responsible for them rather than Ianto, he couldn’t take them down without it feeling like he was rejecting his lover.

So instead Jack decided to get revenge for having Christmas inflicted upon him.

A few days later a huge bunch of plastic Mistletoe was hanging above Hub and he waited there for Ianto to arrive.

The Welshman knew something was up by the grin on his face.  Jack looked up and his lover followed his gaze.  Knowing exactly what the Immortal was intending, which was to use the mistletoe to have a good excuse to kiss every member of the team, Ianto raised an eyebrow.

Jack glanced at the tree then turned pleading eyes towards his lover.  The Welshman gave a put upon sigh, then moved towards the Immortal and gave him a passionate snog, before moving towards the kitchen shaking his head sadly.

The Captain was suddenly reminded of a conversation his team had had about the Tretarri case.  They had been discussing how they had decided to investigate behind his back because they were afraid of Ianto poisoning the coffee.  Now that wasn’t something the Welshman was likely to do, he venerated his coffee too much to do such a thing, but if he really disapproved of Jack’s plan then he could put the Immortal on decaf.

Hastily he followed Ianto to the kitchen and did his best to persuade the Welshman that it was just a bit of harmless fun, and that if his indulged Jack then he would be rewarded for his patience.  As a sign of good faith, he demonstrated the kind of reward he was likely to receive in the form of a spectacular blow job which made his lover’s knee buckle.

Perhaps the spike of guilt he felt should have been a sign that his plan was going to backfire.

By the time he left the kitchen, Toshiko had arrived.  She was sitting serenely at her keyboard working away on one of her many programs.  He cursed himself for missing her, but hoped that she hadn’t noticed the mistletoe.

He was hovering by the door, waiting for his first proper victim when an alert sounded at Tosh’s computer.  He crossed the floor to check it with her just as Ianto was crossing the Hub with an artefact that Owen had requested.

Toshiko was just telling him about the Weevil alert when Owen entered the Hub.  He called out to Ianto to help him with the box he was carrying.

“Well come on then,” Owen said

Looking up, Jack saw that Ianto was carrying the box and they were both under the mistletoe.

Before the Welshman could protest, he was grabbed by Owen and given a thorough snog before Jack’s eyes.  To be fair Ianto looked completely stunned, whilst the Medic looked incredibly smug as he looked at the Captain.

“Jack are you listening?” Toshiko asked and, with a glare at Owen, he focused fully on the Weevil sighting.

And so the pattern started.

Jack and Owen were manhandling the Weevil when Gwen entered the Hub.  In their absence something had been spilt on the floor right underneath the mistletoe and Ianto was mopping it up as the Welshwoman came in and claimed her snog.

Toshiko went up to the Tourist Office to talk to Ianto just before lunch and they came down together, the Welshman was loaded down with sandwiches as they entered.  Jack was with Owen listening to his theories about the artefact he was studying, but he looked automatically towards the door when the alarm sounded, as Ianto and Tosh stepped under the mistletoe and the Technical Genius claimed her kiss.

Jack knew it was a conspiracy, and that Gwen was behind it, when Rhys arrived loaded down with bags of shopping.  Ianto went to his aid when he accidently (accident ha, it was on purpose) dropped one of the bags spilling the contents.

“Ah mistletoe, might as well keep up the tradition,” Gwen’s fiancé said and gave his fellow countryman an awkward kiss.

“Right that does it,” Jack said as he stormed towards them.

Pushing Rhys out of the way, and knocking over more bags, he grabbed Ianto, gave him a passionate kiss with a touch of groping so that he knew who he belonged to, then grabbed the mistletoe and stormed off.  Laughter followed him as he flounced into his office, slamming the door behind him.

Jack sulked for the rest of the day.  He only left his office to go out on call and hid away again as soon as they were back.

“They’re sorry they upset you,” Ianto told him as he entered the office.

Jack knew that the others had gone but he was still unhappy and didn’t turn to look at his lover.  He knew it was a harmless joke, a taste of his own medicine, but he didn’t expect to feel such jealousy.  Ianto had looked so hot every single time, and that wasn’t right, the only person he should look hot for was him.

“I was hoping for one last kiss under the mistletoe,” Ianto said quietly.

Jack turned angrily to reply and stopped.  The Welshman was stark naked except for a piece of string around his waist.  Hanging from the string was the sprig of mistletoe, just above an erect cock.

“Well it is traditional,” Jack found himself saying as he hurried over to oblige.

 

Fin.

 

 


End file.
